The world has long admired stoic men who have an endless capacity to endure pain, sufferings and hardships in life without ever complaining or showing nerves. Can strong men like these be vulnerable at the same time? Or are strength and vulnerability so incompatible that they cannot co-exist in a man?
The question we are discussing today is: Can men be vulnerable? There are many misconceptions about vulnerability in men. One of them being that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. On the contrary, vulnerability is strength because it takes courage to reveal your flaws, fears, and failures.
Strong men are admired and desired because they are useful. They fight bravely at the risk of losing limbs and lives to defend their country. They slave tirelessly at their jobs to please their bosses and to provide for their families.
Not only should vulnerability be acceptable among men, it should be encouraged because it is the key to connection and intimacy. My flaws, fears, and failings are as much a part of who I am as are my strengths, talents, and achievements. To know me you have to know all of them. If I want to be known by you, I will have to reveal all of them as well.
If men value their mental health, they should learn to be vulnerable. People who live more authentically experience greater psychological well-being. Greater mental health generally equates to greater physical health too.
So dads, don’t Man Up. instead, Open Up.
By Parcsen Loke, Family Life Coach, Centre for Fathering. If you wish to contact Parcsen, please make an appointment at: calendly.com/iamparcsen.