Imagine you have been told by your doctor that unless you lose ten kilograms soon, you run the risk of suffering a heart attack. It’s been three months since you drew up a plan to achieve the goal but you have neither started on the diet nor hit the gym. Is it because you lack self-control? No. It’s something very different.
Imagine that your mind is a car called “Consciousness Car” and there are two travellers in it: a Thinking Brain and a Feeling Brain. The Thinking Brain represents your ability to make calculations, reason, problem-solve, and express ideas. The Feeling Brain represents your emotions, impulses, intuition, and instincts. Both have their own strengths and weaknesses.
It is a classic assumption that when it comes to decision making it is the Thinking Brain that is driving the Consciousness Car. The truth is: the Feeling Brain is in the driver’s seat. It is the Feeling Brain that is driving the Consciousness Car because ultimately we are moved to action only by emotion. Anger pushes us to move our bodies. Anxiety pulls us into retreat. Joy lights up the facial muscles, while shame makes us run and hide.
Therefore, the reason why we don’t do the things we know we should do is that we don’t feel like it. To lose 10 kilograms, it is not good enough to know that you need to. You must want to.
By Parcsen Loke, Family Life Coach, Centre for Fathering. If you wish to contact Parcsen, please make an appointment at: calendly.com/iamparcsen
Food for Thought: Everyone procrastinates, sometimes. Parents and children do it. Why do you think we procrastinate, and what is the antidote for it?