By Wong Suen Kwong, Centre for Fathering Rules make it possible for us to live in communities without getting in each other’s way or violating each other’s rights and boundaries. Here we examine the last two categories of family patterns with their respective polarities: Overt – Covert See Part 1. Appropriate – Inappropriate See Part 1. Flexible
Human beings are rule makers and rule followers. Rules make it possible for us to live in communities without getting in each other’s way or violating each other’s rights and boundaries. A family rule refers to any behaviour pattern that is indigenous to a family system or relationship. For example, if Mom and Dad want
Anthony Yeo, the late “Father” of family counseling in Singapore, once deposited a timeless nugget of wisdom in my life some eon back. He said kids don’t really understand “quality” time. Just time. How wise! We delude ourselves into thinking that we can “schedule” quality time with our kids don’t we? That special moment when our kid
Do you know your role as a father?Have you brought food to the table? That makes you a provider.Have you paid the bills? That makes you the accountant.Have you given your child his/her own room? That makes you a shelter.Have you punished your child for his/her wrongdoings? That makes you a disciplinarian. Your child will grow up and in
In psychological terms, to “reframe” something is to look at it from a different perspective. Reframing is a way to turn what might be viewed as a negative scenario into a positive one. A very good example is the half-filled glass analogy. You can look at the glass and say “it is half-empty” or “it
Volunteering is a great way to teach your child about giving back to the community. Looking at the less fortunate people and your guidance of explaining to them why they need help will evoke a certain emotion and build a compassionate heart. It will also make your child more appreciative of what they have and being
One of the best ways to connect with another person is by injecting a positive presupposition into a question or suggestion. This communication tool makes a conversation much more likely for your child to respond in a way that opens the way into understanding how your child thinks. To have a positive presupposition about something
Child psychologists since Jean Piaget had demonstrated that babies as young as six-week old have the capability of deferred imitation – the mental capacity to store, remember actions or objects, and later, just simply by thinking, are able imitate or act on this knowledge. By the age of 14 months, the length of time that children are
The terrible twos, the defiant preteen, the rebellious teen etc… Fathering is a journey of ever changing problems. Each one seems to be greater than the next. It seems like it never ends; but that is what it is. Fathering is a lifelong process; even an adult child will come to you for advice every
I couldn’t help noticing the confident stride the young father walked into the train with his baby wrapped round his chest in a carrier. The mother followed alongside him with the stroller and all the usual peripherals in it. They sat down and enthusiastically chatted unconscious that they were actually poised in a picture-perfect ideal
