By Danny Teo, Centre for Fathering
Do you know your role as a father?
Have you brought food to the table? That makes you a provider.
Have you paid the bills? That makes you the accountant.
Have you given your child his/her own room? That makes you a shelter.
Have you punished your child for his/her wrongdoings? That makes you a disciplinarian.
Your child will grow up and in life discover that others can do what you can do too.
Anybody who willingly pays for the needs of your child, be it a relative, friend or ‘God Parent’ can be a provider to your child.
Your child will realize that many people pay bills. Any grown up will pay the bills the same way that you do and they too are accountants.
A dorm room in college, a camp site or any room can be a shelter.
The school’s discipline master, the judicial system or even mommy. They are all able disciplinarians who can get the message through as well as you.
Many people can play the roles which you can. Yet there is one role that you are to your child that no one else can be. You are the one and only father that your child has. No one else can have a biological and emotional bond that can only be experience between a father and child. The moment anyone mentions the word “daddy”, you will instantly pop up in your child’s mind. THAT is your special role that no one else can replace.
Just as you have worked so hard to reach your current position in your career and continually advance your earning power, your fathering career is just as important, if not more important that the one you have in your office.
Does your child find security in the material and tangible things, or in love and emotional stability?
Kind, concern and loving words provides them with a security of your love.
Time paid out to them will account for the importance they are in your life.
Warm hugs, affection and kisses will let them recognize you as a safe and warm shelter.
Examples through your actions will be the gentle discipline in their life.