Solve Problems With Your Children
Parennts play a crucial role in our children’s lives, shaping their character, guiding their development, and fostering their resilience. When it comes to parenting, one approach that has gained significant recognition for its effectiveness in addressing challenging behaviours is Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS), developed by Dr. Stuart Ablon.
CPS emphasises collaboration and shared responsibility between parents and children in resolving conflicts and addressing behavioural issues. Unlike traditional approaches that often rely on authority and punishments, this method promotes a more empathetic and empowering dynamic, fostering a stronger parent-child relationship and building essential life skills in children.
To effectively implement Collaborative Problem Solving, follow these steps:
- Identify the Problem: Clearly define the behaviour or situation that needs to be addressed.
- Gather Information: Listen to the child’s perspective and gather information about the situation.
- State Your Concern: Clearly and calmly express your concern about the behaviour or situation.
- Ask for the Child’s Ideas: Encourage the child to share their thoughts on how to resolve the problem.
- Brainstorm Together: Work together to generate potential solutions that address both your concerns and the child’s needs.
- Choose a Solution: Select the solution that best meets both parties’ needs and expectations.
- Make a Plan: Clearly outline the steps involved in implementing the chosen solution.
- Follow Through: Monitor the progress and provide support as needed.
This method offers a transformative approach to parenting, shifting the focus from power struggles to collaborative problem-solving. By embracing empathy, shared responsibility, and skill development, fathers can empower their children to manage their emotions, make positive choices, and build stronger relationships.
By Parcsen Loke, Family Life Coach, Centre for Fathering.
Food for Thought: How do you and your child solve problems together?