How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying

“I was bullied in school…”

That is the last thing any parent wants to hear from their child at the end of a school day. Sadly, with multiple bullying incidents surfacing online in recent months, we as parents need to know how to speak to our children about this topic and equip them with the right actions to take if they witness or experience bullying.

Here are some ways I talk to my children about bullying:

1. Talk About the Reality of Bullying

Our children may not always be aware of what bullying looks like or even realise that they are being bullied. Take time to explain what bullying is and the impact it has on others. When appropriate, show them age-appropriate newspaper articles or examples of different types of bullying (physical, cyber, emotional, etc.) to build awareness.

2. Teach Them What to Do When It Happens

Encourage your child to inform you or a trusted adult such as a teacher or relative if they experience or witness any form of bullying. Assure them that it is okay even if they are unsure; it is always better to speak up than to stay silent.

Here’s what I tell my kids to do:

  • Do not engage the bully, but call out for help if appropriate
  • Check if the victim needs any medical attention
  • Inform the nearest teacher or adult about the incident
  • Let me know when they get home

You can also add any other steps that make sense for your family or your child’s school environment.

3. Have Periodic Check-ins

As a father of three children aged 10 to 14, I make it a point to check in regularly by asking:

  • Have you witnessed any bullying lately?
  • Have you been bullied lately?
  • Have you bullied anyone lately?

While that last question may feel like a shot in the dark, these conversations help reinforce that bullying is a serious matter and not tolerated in our home.

As we encourage our children to look out for one another and empower them to speak up against bullying, may we also play our part in making our nation a safe place for all to learn and grow, starting from our homes.

This article is written by Kevin Goh, Centre for Fathering. Feel free to contact us at engage@fathers.com.sg if you have questions about DADs for Life and MUMs for Life workshops, events, and initiatives.

Food for Thought:
How confident are you that your child would tell you if they experienced or witnessed bullying? What can you do to build that trust?