Emotion Coaching: Set Limits While Problem Solving

The fifth and final step of the Emotional Coaching system is to set limits while helping your child to problem-solve. 

Let’s say that your child has a tendency to hit others or things when he is upset. As his dad, you can communicate to your child that hitting is not acceptable behaviour. Use simple and direct language to explain why hitting is wrong and how it can hurt others and himself. At the same time, acknowledge your child’s emotions and let him know it’s okay to feel upset, but hitting is not an acceptable way to express those feelings. 

Help him identify and label his emotions. Then, encourage your child to express his feelings in a more appropriate way. Offer alternative actions, such as using words to express his emotions, taking deep breaths, or asking for help when he is feeling upset. Having done that, you can practise alternative responses together through role-playing scenarios. Act out situations where your child might feel upset or frustrated and guide him in using appropriate problem-solving techniques.Praise and reward your child when he handles situations without resorting to hitting. Positive reinforcement can motivate him to continue using alternative methods to manage his emotions. 

It is not difficult to become an emotion coach. It will take a lot of practice, though. You will not succeed for the first many tries because old habits are stubborn and take time to be replaced with new ones. But if you persist and don’t give up, you will eventually succeed.