Teenagers live in a state of ambivalence in their lives. Sometimes, teens feel like they are invincible “nothing is impossible”. At other times, they can feel absolutely hopeless “everything is impossible”. Fathers who have good relationships with their teenagers will need to coach them during such days. When your teens come to you for help,
Today we shall focus on how we can use “solution talk” with our teens in a conflict. It is very common for teens to collide in their values with that of their parents. Last week we learnt that using problem talk in the form of blame and shame is not helpful. The good news is
Our next discussion will be on how fathers as coach can avoid problem talk and initiate solution talk with their teens. To begin let’s understand the ways we usually lapse into problem talk. Some words tend to be problematic in our conversation with teens. ‘You always’ is a phrase that will get us into a
Now that we have laid the three foundations and three basic principles on coaching our teens, we will now proceed to discuss the actual skills for the coaching process itself. The paradigm shift for fathers in coaching our teens is to focus on solutions and not problems. The reason for this shift is that most
Last week we laid the foundation of focusing on solutions and not problems when coaching our teens. Today, we will look at three basic principles of the solution coaching process. The first is “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it!” Even though this is common sense, many fathers make the mistake of trying to change things
Now that we have addressed the foundations of coaching, we can now talk about the coaching process. One helpful approach to coaching our teens is to focus on solutions and not problems. This is a paradigm shift. Too often when we encounter difficulties with our teens or when they consult us on problems they are facing,
The third foundation for coaching our teens is that as fathers we need to be available and approachable. You would notice that teenagers spend less and less time with their parents. Some even do not want to be seen with their parents! Friends become more important for them. The amount of school workload also takes their time away. This makes
Last week we addressed the first foundation of being a good coach to our teens “that we are the best parents for them”. The next foundation of good teen coaching is to view our teens in a way that will nurture their growth. It is amazing how our different our feelings and reactions to a
Many fathers find themselves suddenly helpless in parenting their teens. What had worked in their parenting approach to their children are no longer helpful when they become teenagers. When children are much younger, they welcomed and needed to be told what to do. As they grow into their teens years, they needed space and flexibility
Strong families are intentional. They do not happen by chance. Beginning of the year is a great time to make certain fathering decisions that will help you build healthy families. Decide today that your career is only as good as your family. Family is like a base camp for mountain climbers. If you want to climb mountains, you
