Dads (and Mums as well) believe it is their responsibility to keep their children safe. However, avoiding anything potentially dangerous is not the best way to equip our children to navigate dangers in the future. In our desire to keep our children safe, we may end up teaching them to be afraid of things like
Children like to be praised. Besides feeling good, praise builds up their self-esteem and confidence. But praise must be done correctly or it could backfire. Think about how you usually praise your child for something well. Most would say something like “Good job,” “Well done,” or “You’re so smart”? It turns out that such praise
Here are some tips to help you navigate the teen years. The transition from child to young adult is a crucial phase as this is when he picks up the skills and attitude to survive and thrive in the world outside the home. Like a farmer carefully tending a garden, you can create a conducive environment for him
Teenagers live in a state of ambivalence in their lives. Sometimes, teens feel like they are invincible “nothing is impossible”. At other times, they can feel absolutely hopeless “everything is impossible”. Fathers who have good relationships with their teenagers will need to coach them during such days. When your teens come to you for help,
Today we shall focus on how we can use “solution talk” with our teens in a conflict. It is very common for teens to collide in their values with that of their parents. Last week we learnt that using problem talk in the form of blame and shame is not helpful. The good news is
Our next discussion will be on how fathers as coach can avoid problem talk and initiate solution talk with their teens. To begin let’s understand the ways we usually lapse into problem talk. Some words tend to be problematic in our conversation with teens. ‘You always’ is a phrase that will get us into a
Now that we have laid the three foundations and three basic principles on coaching our teens, we will now proceed to discuss the actual skills for the coaching process itself. The paradigm shift for fathers in coaching our teens is to focus on solutions and not problems. The reason for this shift is that most
Last week we laid the foundation of focusing on solutions and not problems when coaching our teens. Today, we will look at three basic principles of the solution coaching process. The first is “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it!” Even though this is common sense, many fathers make the mistake of trying to change things
Now that we have addressed the foundations of coaching, we can now talk about the coaching process. One helpful approach to coaching our teens is to focus on solutions and not problems. This is a paradigm shift. Too often when we encounter difficulties with our teens or when they consult us on problems they are facing,
The third foundation for coaching our teens is that as fathers we need to be available and approachable. You would notice that teenagers spend less and less time with their parents. Some even do not want to be seen with their parents! Friends become more important for them. The amount of school workload also takes their time away. This makes
