A Father’s Role In Guiding His Family Towards A Higher Taqwa This Ramadan

“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…” (Quran 66:6)

As fathers, we carry a heavy yet beautiful responsibility – the duty to lead, protect, and nurture our families, not just physically, but spiritually too. Every man who is about to be a father needs to be mentally prepared to take on this default role that has been assigned to them by their Creator, to guide and set a good example for his loved ones to follow. And there is no better time to renew this commitment than in the sacred month of Ramadan.

For Muslim families in Singapore, where life moves at a fast pace and work demands often leave little time for reflection, Ramadan provides a golden opportunity to reset. Living in a multicultural society, we balance our faith alongside other social commitments, making it even more crucial for fathers to take an active role in nurturing taqwa within the family. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best to my family.” (Sunan Ibn Majah) This hadith serves as a reminder that true leadership in the home is not about authority, but about love, guidance, and setting the best example.

The Story of Prophet Ibrahim: A Father’s Legacy of Faith
One of the greatest examples of a father’s role in guiding his family toward taqwa is the story of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him). His life was filled with tests—leaving his wife and infant son in a barren desert with nothing but faith in Allah, building the Kaaba with his son Ismail, and even facing the unimaginable test of being commanded to sacrifice his beloved child. But throughout these trials, Prophet Ibrahim demonstrated unwavering faith and submission to Allah. He did not just instruct his family in faith—he lived it. He trusted Allah, and in turn, his family followed his lead. When he left Hajar and Ismail in the desert, he made a du’a that reveals the essence of his fatherly guidance:
“Our Lord, I have settled some of my descendants in an uncultivated valley near Your sacred House, our Lord, that they may establish prayer. So make hearts among the people incline toward them and provide for them from the fruits that they might be grateful.” (Surah Ibrahim 14:37)

He did not just ask for their survival—he asked for their spirituality to flourish. He understood that true success is not in worldly comforts but in the establishment of a strong connection with Allah. This is a father’s role: to create an environment where his family not only survives but thrives in their faith.

What’s interesting is that he wasn’t raised by a good father. They disagreed on many things, but mainly about their faith. His father was among those who led the call for Prophet Ibrahim to be burnt alive for what he did to the manmade idols. Despite this, it never influenced his behaviour to be cruel and forceful towards his own child. On the contrary, he became a father who was ten times better, and instead of wishing his own son to be cursed, he always prayed for his son to be guided and blessed.

How Can Fathers Lead Their Families to Higher Taqwa in Singapore?
Fathers today may not face the same trials as Prophet Ibrahim, but the responsibility remains the same: to nurture faith in our homes. So how can we do this effectively, especially in Ramadan, within our unique Singaporean context?

Become Exemplary
Children do not just learn from what we say—they learn from what we do. If they see their father waking up for Subuh consistently, reading the Quran with sincerity, and making du’a with humility, they will naturally follow.
In Singapore, where many work long hours and have late nights, prioritising prayer can be a challenge. Yet, making the effort to pray in jama’ah (congregation) at home or at the mosque, particularly during Tarawih prayers, sets a strong example. Let your children hear your recitation of the Quran. Let them see you making istighfar (seeking forgiveness) with sincerity. Our children mimic what we do. Taqwa is not taught by words alone—it is taught through actions.

Create Meaningful Family Traditions
Ramadan is the perfect time to establish family traditions that strengthen iman. I get invited to a lot of fancy iftar events in Ramadan, but without doubt, I enjoy having simple family iftar together with my wife and kids, and taking a few minutes before breaking our fast to make du’a as a family. If you can, I would recommend allocating a bit of time after Maghrib or Isha to share relatable reflections on a short surah from the Quran. Or you may consider engaging in charity projects together. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Whether it is donating to your neighbourhood mosque, or packing then distributing dates to their Muslim friends in school, or volunteering at welfare homes like Darul Ihsan. These shared experiences build not only memories but also a deeper spiritual bond within the family.

Encourage Open Conversations About Faith
Sometimes, we may wrongly assume our children will naturally develop taqwa without needing guidance. But in reality, they need space to ask questions, to understand the ‘why’ behind their worship. In Singapore, where children are exposed to different worldviews in school and social media, fathers play an even more crucial role today in grounding them in some core Islamic values. Yes, I know it’s not easy, trust me, with four children of my own, it can feel overwhelming at times. But it’s OK to let your partner know, to ask for help, and to rest our minds when we need it. But as the household’s go-to resource person for anything relating to our faith, it would be helpful to create an environment where they feel safe to ask about Allah, about the purpose of fasting, about the struggles they face in maintaining their fast among friends who don’t fast! A father’s mere presence in these conversations (not necessarily perfect answers) reassures them that faith is not just a set of rules—it is a journey of the heart.

Some Practical Takeaways for Fathers This Ramadan
Pray Subuh and Isha in congregation with your family. These two prayers are often the most challenging, but they carry great rewards. Leading them in prayer will instil discipline and a sense of responsibility in your children. In Ramadan, Subuh is right after sahur so it should be easier to do, and Isha is very close to Maghrib when you include the time spent with iftar.

Start a nightly ‘Reflection Circle’ after Iftar. Take 10 minutes to share a Quranic verse or a Hadith and discuss its relevance in their lives. In order to do this, you’ll need to step into their shoes and imagine the world from their young lens. This will help nurture thoughtful discussions and spiritual growth, especially in a modern urban society where distractions are plenty.

Involve your children in acts of sadaqah. Encourage your teenage children to help out and volunteer with local organisations like AMP or MTFA. Let them physically meet and have face-to-face conversations with the less fortunate, help distribute food to migrant workers, or choose a cause to share on their social media accounts voluntarily. Teach them that generosity and thinking about others’ well-being is one of the ingredients of taqwa.

My Final Thoughts
A father’s role in Ramadan is not just about providing food for sahur and iftar —it is about nourishing the soul. By leading with faith, creating meaningful traditions, and fostering open conversations about spirituality, a father indirectly plants the seeds of taqwa in the hearts of his family. And the beauty of this effort? It does not just benefit this Ramadan—it creates a lasting legacy of faith that continues for generations to come, insyaAllah.

May Allah grant all fathers in Singapore the wisdom, patience, and sincerity to lead their families toward Him, this Ramadan and always.

This article is written by Ameen Ustaz Mizi Wahid, President of PERGAS and Father of 4 Children. It first appeared in bshsekolahbapa.