On Fire To Connect Incarcerated Fathers And Families

Bramsha Osman, 44, is a champion of the Bapa Sepanjang Hayat (DADs for Life for Malay Muslim community) movement. Read his inspiring story of how Bramsha went from being an ordinary dad, to helping families with incarcerated fathers heal and connect through fathering and father-child bonding programmes.

The room was thick with emotion as a father sat across from his daughter. Two people who had become strangers after 19 years of separation. Their initial exchanges were awkward, punctuated by nervous glances and silence. As the day unfolded, the tension eased as the pair shared small smiles and moments of conversation in between games. The final activity of the day was an affirmation exercise where father and daughter share their thoughts and encouragement for one another. When it came to the pair’s turn, the father was visibly nervous, stumbling on his words. The daughter was quiet, but her tears spoke volumes. At the end of the session, the pair held each other tightly, both crying, as years of distance and silence melted away in a single hug. With his daughter still in his arms, the father turned to Bramsha and whispered “Thank You”.

For Bramsha, this moment was a powerful reminder of why he had dedicated the last six years to the DADs for Life movement and its mission to active fatherhood.

Bramsha’s journey began in 2017 when he was invited by a fellow volunteer to Centre for Fathering’s ICAN Fathering Workshop. Initially sceptical, Bramsha felt the event was likely going to be a waste of his time. But at the end of the workshop, Bramsha’s perspective of the role of a father shifted tremendously. He realised the significance of a father’s involvement in a child’s life and was convinced that the workshop would be beneficial to all fathers. Since then, Bramsha embraced the cause fully, attending all sessions of the ICAN Fathering workshops and eventually becoming a trainer for several Centre for Fathering programmes. Today, he volunteers for Bapa Sepanjang Hayat as the Chairman (Volunteer) of the Prison and Halfway Houses Committee, focusing his time on helping incarcerated fathers.

As part of his volunteering efforts, Bramsha conducts weekly ICAN Fathering workshops in prison where he creates awareness about the importance of the role of a dad. He also introduced the “Five Love Languages” to incarcerated fathers so that they can understand themselves and their children better. His passion to support dads who are incarcerated also led Bramsha to pursue a Bachelor in Counselling from the Singapore University of Social Sciences. In addition, he volunteers as a Case Officer to support incarcerated fathers transitioning from prison to halfway houses.

Personal Takeaways

Volunteering has not only deepened Bramsha’s understanding of effective parenting, but has also reminded him to be more patient, present, and intentional in his interactions with his children. As a father to five children between the ages of seven and seventeen, Bramsha ensures he makes time for each child, so that they feel loved and valued. Bramsha would also actively participate in BSH events—the most recent being “K-pop with Dad”. “My 13-year-old daughter adores K-pop. There was lots of laughter and bonding throughout the session as I fumbled with the moves, much to the amusement of my daughter,” laughed Bramsha.

Bramsha’s family also chips in for his volunteering duties by helping out with pre-event preparations or joining him for events. These shared experiences have helped to strengthen the family’s bond and also imparted many valuable life lessons to his children, Bramsha added.

“Many times, we feel that volunteering takes up much of our time and disrupts our lives,” Bramsha said. “But you will be surprised how volunteering can offer you a greater sense of purpose and fulfilment. Most importantly, your child will look up to you as a role model.”

Interestingly, Bramsha’s eldest son chose to purse a course in nursing because he wants to help others, despite knowing the challenges nurses face. “Seeing this choice made me realised that my involvement in volunteering might have had a positive influence on him, shaping his values and decision to contribute to society. This connection between my volunteering efforts and his path inspires me to continue balancing both commitments,” he added.  

As Bramsha looks back on his journey in parenting and volunteering, he realised how he has come full circle from being a recipient of help to helping others. Bramsha hopes more fathers can join him as a DAD for life, ensuring every child has a father they can look up to and count on.