What Is A Father Doing At A Women’s Rights Conference?

I am privileged to be part of a group of five community leaders from Singapore at the recent 68th United Nations Commission on the Status of Women (CSW68) – a gathering of over 11,000 attendees from all over the word discussing issues affecting gender equality. This took place in March in New York. I was the only man and father in the group.

During the conference, I represented Singapore at a side event on empowering women in the home, workplaces, home, and community through a whole-of-society partnership effort. Being invited to attend CSW68 underpinned Singapore’s strong belief that changing mindsets on gender roles requires the partnership of both men and women.

Much of the discussion at CSW68 was focused on advancing women equality, equity, and justice. For example, encouraging men to take up more unpaid childcare and household responsibilities, and reducing violence against women. While it was important that we focus on building equality for women and removing the inequalities they receive because of their sex, what was lacking in the discussions was the multiple roles women play in their lives because of the relationships they have.

A woman begins her life as a daughter who has a mother and father. Later, some may become wives, and some mothers.  All these happen in the context of the home. The family is indeed a place where our closest relationships reside and where our first relationships are formed.

The dynamics within a family are vital in shaping women. The influence of father figures on our children’s development is significant and should not be underestimated. Research shows that children who grow up without fathers or with absent fathers may face challenges ranging from delinquency to poor mental health and overall life outcomes. The presence of a strong father figure is often associated with positive outcomes in various aspects of a child’s life.

A father’s impact on his daughters is profound and long-lasting. Fathers play a crucial role in shaping their daughters’ self-esteem, confidence, and relationships with others. A positive and supportive father figure can empower his daughters to become women who believe in themselves, pursue their dreams, and navigate the challenges that come their way, including being a wife and a mother. An involved father empowers daughters to become women who are the best version of themselves.

When I took on the role of leading the DADs for Life movement, I didn’t realise the strong connection between a father’s involvement and women’s empowerment. Now, I can proudly affirm that loving my wife and child not only supports my wife’s growth but also enables her to reach her full potential.

I would like to encourage fathers to actively participate in their children’s lives right from pregnancy to establish enduring and meaningful connections. Embracing fatherhood entails placing family above work and other obligations, and being emotionally, and physically present for your family. While fathers may encounter difficulties in developing close relationships with their children compared to mothers, they can overcome this by being engaged, attentive, and caring.

As family sizes decrease and communities become smaller, the partnership between parents in caring for their families becomes increasingly crucial. Both mothers and fathers play distinct but vital roles in their children’s emotional growth and well-being. Parenting should not merely be about dividing tasks between fathers and mothers, nor should it be a competition to see who is doing a better job. It is a cooperative partnership aimed at offering children the affection, support, and direction they need to flourish.

The battle for women’s rights and greater equality between sexes is not against men or fathers. As a nation, we must collaborate to address pressing matters like women’s equality and our declining total fertility rate, which reached a record low in 2023.

Let’s empower our women in their roles as daughters, wives, or mothers. Let’s encourage our men in their roles as sons, husbands, or fathers. Together, we can become a nation Made for Families.

By Dr. Xander Ong, CEO, Centre for Fathering