Do you worry a lot and can’t seem to stop yourself? In this video, I will share with you the main reasons we worry and how we can get our worries under greater control.
What is worry? We worry because the future is uncertain, and we fear losing control. But are we? Worrying can give us the illusion of control when, in fact, the opposite is true. Worrying is so common because people frequently confuse it with problem solving. We don’t like doing nothing, and worrying makes us feel like we’re doing something.
For some people, worrying, or thinking about the problem, is much better than feeling the strong emotions associated with it. They would rather think about the problem than feel the emotions. Worrying is how they keep it in their heads.
Worrying is really a very unproductive activity. Unbridled worry can wreak havoc in your life, leading to relationship problems, affecting your work performance, and even having long-term medical consequences as a result of carrying around all that stress. It also reduces the quality of your engagement with your children.
So, can we stop worrying? The short answer is yes. But it’s easier said than done.
The first step in dealing with worry is acknowledging its presence.
Then, ask yourself, “What is the utility of this thought?” In other words, is this thought useful to you? By reframing your perspective and beginning to think in this manner, you can begin to accept what you cannot change.
Cornell University researchers have provided some fascinating insights into worry. They conducted a long-term study and discovered that 85 percent of what people were worried about never happened.
Determining which thoughts are necessary to focus on and which can be safely ignored can assist in giving your brain the space it requires to rest. This can free up your mind to focus on basic needs like eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and spending quality time with your wife and children.
By Parcsen Loke, Family Life Coach, Centre for Fathering.
Food for Thought: Does thinking about the future energise you or drain you?