Book Review: Parenting from the Inside Out

When we become parents, we bring with us issues from our own past that influence the way we parent our children. Experiences that are not fully processed may create unresolved and leftover issues that influence how we react to our children. These issues can easily get triggered in the parent-child relationship. When this happens our responses toward our children often … Read More

Happy Wife, Happy Father

Written by Parcsen Loke For years, husbands have been stuck with the mantra “happy wife, happy life” because nothing rhymes with husband. The closest anyone has ever come was “happy husband, stuff gets done.” Some have suggested to replace the old, tired, gendered “happy wife, happy life” mantra with the much more postmodern “happy spouse, happy house.” No doubt, this … Read More

Why the “carrot and stick” style of parenting does not work

A mother decides to go to the mall with her two-year old toddler. As they walk around the mall, they spot a toy store. Inside the toy store, the toddler spots an item and begins to nag the mother to purchase it. The mother says no. The toddler begins to cry and scream. Still, the mother says no. To the … Read More

Calling time-out to “time-outs”

Time outs continue to be a powerful and effective means of motivating children’s compliance through about age 11 or 12. The point of the time-out is to give a child the time and space they need to calm themselves down, regain the ability to think clearly, and then come back to the situation and make better decisions. While on an … Read More

Blood is thicker than water

Written by Parcsen Loke “Blood is thicker than water” is a 15th Century proverb that implies that family relationships are always more important that friends. It was a social norm and everyone understood that, “If you ever need help, don’t ask your friends. Come home and ask us, your family. Blood runs thicker than water.”[1] But does this proverb still … Read More

6Cs to consider when buying a tech toy for your child

Written by Parcsen Loke Think back to the time you played at a playground. There were many different colours and shapes to stimulate your mind. The wide open spaces compelled you to run around and explore. There were ropes to climb and tunnels to crawl through, to test and train your strength and agility. You were probably not alone at … Read More

Play: More than Just Fun

Written by Parcsen Loke It has been said that “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Does it only mean that Jack is bored if he does not get to play, or much more? The eminent play scholar, Joe Frost, in his compelling book, “A History of Childhood Play and Play Environments” (1) tellingly shows that the … Read More

6 Predictors of Divorce

Written by Parcsen Loke In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman lists the six things that predict divorce. This ability to predict divorce is based in part on his analysis of 124 newlywed couples (married less than 6 months) who were observed a the “Love Lab” apartment at the University of Washington. The study involved observing … Read More

Book Review: Achieving Success Without Failing Your Family by Dr Paul Faulkner

A noted speaker, writer, and professor of marriage and family therapy, Dr Paul Faulkner interviewed 30 sets of parents to discover how they raised vibrant families while achieving success at work. At the same time, he researched what makes families strong. This book, Achieving Success Without Failing Your Family–How 30 successful families achieved family excellence (1995), brings together insights from his research … Read More

Emotion Coaching Workshop

The Centre for Fathering–Dads for Life (CFF-DFL) held an Emotion Coaching workshop at their premises in “The Tennery” on 10 Nov 2018 to equip parents with useful handles on being an emotion coach to their children. It was conducted by Ruby Lee, a passionate and experienced Parenting Coach, Marriage Therapist & Counsellor, who is an Associate Trainer with CFF-DFL. Based … Read More